I was all set to rank my choices for Manhattan district attorney in the Democratic primary though I was confused as to why there was no information about the candidates in my NYC voter guide. Candidates for every other office (including the mayor) were in the mix, but not the Manhattan DA. Think the internet has all the answers? Well, if you type in “Why isn’t the 2021 Manhattan DA primary ranked-choice voting?” …
Welcome to the Big Apple — and by the way, nobody calls it that. So don’t you either. So you’ve come to NYC with a car! Maybe you have a home with a driveway or assigned parking? But probably not. So you can get a space in a garage, right? Well, if you live anywhere like my neighborhood, you can ask to be put on a waiting list for the privilege of paying $400 or much, much more a month for a spot because all the lots and garages are full for monthly parking.
If there’s one bright spot to…
We didn’t give pause when out went the empty yogurt containers, into the recycling. Honestly, there’s where these containers belong. For heaven’s sake, they’re made of plastic, recyclable plastic. They have that triangle with the low single-digit number embossed on them, and it‘s there for a reason, no? In my opinion, there are just far too many of these containers out in the world, and really the recycling bin is just a natural progression in the cycle.
And then came the great purge. Out went the casual cup and saucer set for four, and what did it matter to us…
Like most New Yorkers, I was thrilled to hear that Trader Joe’s was coming to uptown Manhattan (though it was taking two years). But why, Trader Joe’s, are you going to put the new location alllllllll the way east at 121 West 125th Street?
The old Fairway, at 2328 12th Avenue, is the perfect location for the new uptown Trader Joe’s. It’s got what the other location has and more!
Unlike the other location, this one has oodles and oodles of space. It is wide open for the company to create a landmark destination.
Irritable Voter Syndrome (IVS) is an increasingly common disorder. The documented incidence of this syndrome has increased considerably in recent times. Sufferers need a long-term management plan.
1) Nausea, headaches, insomnia
2) Eye irritation, ear soreness, and a bad taste in your mouth
3) Psychic pain, moral outrage, or Republican gloating in any combination
4) Alternating bouts of diarrhea (of the mouth by those who offer nothing but empty platitudes), constipation (of expression when they should be saying something), and goose-stepping (by some very unfine people)
5) Irritability, inflammation, and teeth-grinding (or gnashing)
6) Depression, fatigue, and nervousness
Pollsters of every persuasion are scratching their heads at the most recent surveys, which shows that all undecided voters have now declared themselves supporters of Biden.
“I don’t know why I didn’t come to this realization sooner,” said Maggie McClain, 33, of Toledo, Ohio. “It was like I was under some spell and suddenly I’m free. The forces of evil weren’t letting me support Clinton. I mean, she’s not perfect but that other guy, geez, he’s a racist rapist.”
When told that Drumpf was president, she gasped. “Wait, what year is it?”
When informed it was 2020 and that Drumpf…
When you try to call the White House (and we need to think about a new name for that place), you’ll get a recording and then the call will end. If you write to the designated email on the Department of Justice website, it will bounce back.
Sung to the Radiohead song
We were in fear before —
Didn’t think you’re a good guy
You’ve just like a devil
Your orange skin so dry —
it looks just like leather.
In your own little world
You think you are special
Just so fuckin’ special.
But you’re a creep
You’re a psycho.
What the hell — can’t do four more years!
You don’t belong there*.
You don’t care who it hurts.
You wanna have control.
Your taste is very gaudy
And you lack any soul.
You want us to notice
All the tweets you sound. …
Sung to the Beatles’ “Tax Man”
Let me tell you how it will be
You pay your dues, plus some for me.
’Cause I’m a tax sham, yeah, I’m a tax sham.
Should seven-fifty seem too small,
Be thankful that I paid at all
’Cause I’m a tax sham, yeah, I’m a tax sham.
Let’s go drive the car around the street
Sure, I’ve got COVID, but take a seat.
If you get COVID, just more mincemeat.
You’re expendable, so take the heat.
Also flimflam man, not just a tax sham.
Don’t ask me who I’m working for
There is a cold VP who just doesn’t try
And I don’t know why he ignored that fly. He’s a weird guy.
There is a cold VP who doesn’t desire
to see or address that our country’s on fire.
To combat the COVID he just doesn’t try.
He’s selling a story that most will not buy and has pink eye!
There is a cold VP who is quite absurd.
No one’s cured; he must have misheard.
He follows the word of the Great Divider
Who fights and incites to make the rift wider!
A puerile backslider, he’ll shrug and deny.
Pence wants you…